How to Be the President of the United States of ‘Merica

  1.  Wear really neat, expensive neckties.
  2. Hire an EPA Director that will be willing to create fraudulent aliases with names like “Richard Windsor” and present both the Director and “Richard” awards for ethical conduct.
  3. Incite racial tensions by undermining judicial due processes governed by the states, and embed your Attorney General with the NAACP.  Maybe even consider a lifetime membership with organizations such as the New Black Panthers.
  4. Reduce the military to crippling deficiencies, and then blame them when you can’t man your ships and equipment.
  5. Create really cool welfare programs for workers displaced by globalization and call it the “Trade Adjustment Assistance Program” instead of investing those funds into creating better incentives for companies to actually stay in the U.S.  Who needs employment, anyway, when you can…
  6. Increase Food Stamps (TANF) to unprecedented levels, creating the greatest amount of citizen dependency in the history of the country.  Pelosi said that Food Stamps are the “most bang for the buck” so it must be true!
  7. Compare yourself, and your non-existent male offspring, to a young thug who died in a tragic shooting to promote your political agenda.
  8. Expose the extra-marital affair of a well-respected military official and head of the CIA so you can avoid him exposing your State Department’s failure and refusal to protect civilian officials in Congressional Hearings.  Let your Secretary of State claim she has the flu and then retire before she can be interviewed as well.  The less they say, the better chance  you’ll have to….
  9. Continue issuing weapons to the Drug Lords!  Give the program a really awesome name similar to your favorite movie, “Fast and Furious” and cover up the killing of your border patrol.
  10. State Sovereignty, State Schmovernty.  I’m the Freakin’ President, yo!


About imaconstitutionalist

Single mom, US Navy Vet, honorably discharged after awarded for meritorious military service. Former professional musician. Owner of a strategic digital marketing, design and development firm. Volunteer. History and economics major. Staunch Constitutionalist and capitalist. Advocates for women, education, innovation development, legalized medical marijuana, and against parental alienation, the socialist agenda, and misogyny. Extremely proud of my family's patriotic history. Daughter of the American Revolution. Fan of Adam Smith, with a not-so-secret crush on Milton Friedman.
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4 Responses to How to Be the President of the United States of ‘Merica

  1. Reblogged this on disturbeddeputy and commented:
    Control the food supply and you control the people.

  2. you write SO well! Are you a professional journalist? If not, you should be!

  3. Pingback: How to Be the President of the United States of ‘Merica

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